From: guy perea <guyperea1@gmail.com>
Date: Sun, 3 Mar 2013 15:29:46 +0800
Subject: The Gift of Second Chances SWORDFISH http://tiny.cc/flovsw
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Most people avoid Tuolumne County's homeless camps, the ones tucked
out of sight along railroad tracks or up well-worn trails.
Bobby Medina seeks them out – he knows many there by name, and on
cold, rainy nights, will often make the rounds to offer a warm bed
andhot meal.
Sometimes they come. Often they don't.
Medina, 58, and his wife, Beki, 61,have made helping outcasts the
focus of their lives.
Eight years ago, they founded a small nonprofit, We Care Sober Living
Recovery Homes, dedicated to running group homes for parolees,
recovering addicts, mentally ill offenders – the hard cases, often
older, single men who are last on the priority list for shelters and
other assistance programs.
"The majority of these have been turned away everywhere else…and
they've burned all their bridges," Bobby says. "But you can't give up
on them…I just remember what I was like, and I got another chance."
A recovering addict and former hard-core felon himself, Bobby is
living a remarkable turnaround story.
He grew up on the streets of San Jose, a gang member as long as hecan
remember, hooked on heroin and other drugs, in and out of group homes
all of his childhood and in and out of prison from the age of 17 for
charges ranging fromrobbery and drugs to attempted murder. His life
changed forever 21 years ago, with one choice offered by a judge.
"It was 25 years, or get in at Delancey Street," Bobby recalls. "That saved me."
The Delancey Street Foundation was a dramatically different kind
ofrehab program – a home in San Francisco built and run by recovering
addicts, where residents stay for at least three years. They clean up,
learn new job skills and work every day either outin the community or
in one of the program's several thriving businesses, including a
moving company, restaurant and bakery. Once admitted, residents can
stay as long as they follow the rules.
Bobby started with a three-day stint on a bench outside the front door.
"I showed up high, with all my tattoos, and this long, long mustache.
"They didn't want me – left me out there all day and all night for
three days, going through heroin withdrawals …On the third day, they
let me in, made me shave and put me in a polyester suit. They clean
you up from the outside in."
Over the next few months, he worked with counselors and startedthrough
the program, learning job skills and trying a wide range of new
experiences aimed at changinghow he saw himself.
The process transformed him, as he moved from new resident to seasoned
mentor. Eventually, afteryears in the program, he was invited to lead
a new drug program working with inmates at the Sierra Conservation
Center near Jamestown.
That's where he met Beki in 2001, when she was working in a different
department. The two couldn't have come from more different
backgrounds. He has a rap sheet that goes on for pages. She grew up in
Twain Harte, daughter of a teacher and bookkeeper – her dad, Jim Sells
Sr., taught at Summerville High. Beki worked in the title industry
foryears before switching careers to work with people with addictions.
Despite their differences, Bobby and Beki had an instant connection,
and married a year later. It's a match that surprised their families
and friends. But the two shared deep convictions, alongwith a deep
frustration with the revolving door they saw for inmates. So many are
back just months after they are released because they have nowhere to
live a sober lifestyle and no chance to get back on their feet. So the
Medinas decided to do something about it, using their connections with
SCC and all that Bobby knew from Delancey Street.
They started with one parolee, and built up the program a little at a
time, expanding to work with other people unable to live alone. Their
efforts are embraced by the courtsand encouraged by some local
agencies that work with difficult clientele. But the Medinas have
their detractors in the social services realm, too, with whom the
unapologetically blunt Bobby has fought over individual client's
cases.
"Not everybody likes me," Bobby adds quickly. "I've bumped heads with
some. I have to do things my way."
But the need for this kind of group home has been sorely lacking in
thefoothills, especially for people withany kind of criminal record.
"They're accepting of people wherever they are in their life story,"
says Beetle Barbour, housing resources director for the Amador
Tuolumne Community Action Agency. "No other social services entity
around here is doingthat…I wish We Care had 20 homes in the foothills.
It's an enormous need."
Barbour says it's especially tough for older men, who typically aren't
accepted at family shelters or the small number of group homes. And
it's a chronic problem. Community surveys year after year show
nearlyone in four homeless people in the foothills is over age 50.
We Care once had eight homes in Tuolumne, Calaveras and Amador
counties, serving both men and women in recovery. Each had an
appointed house manager, and residents could stay as long as they
followed the rules. Each was nearly self-supporting, and the Medinas
both worked outside jobs to cover shortfalls, never taking
compensation. The Sonora Area Foundation helped with occasional
grants, and has remained supportive.
Neighbors upset about the homes and the behavior of their residents
sometimes complained to landlords and the Medinas, but those
complaints were usually resolved and not a factor in the closures,
Beki says.
But the recession took a heavy toll,both on funding sources and on
theMedina family's finances. Treatment programs can't offer even
minimal help right now, and utilities and other costs have gone up. So
despite the huge need, they're back down to one home now, in downtown
Tuolumne. It serves eight men and longtime house manager Geraldo
Ochoa, all of them over 50.
Jeff Mercer, 62, is the oldest resident there. A former river rafter,
he's in a wheelchair after a stroke five years ago, and credits
Geraldo for keeping a good atmosphere at the Tuolumne house.
"He's a good cook, that's a big part of it," Jeff jokes. "And he keeps
everyone in line."
Fellow resident Steve Tippett, 54, agrees.
"Everybody here helps each other," he said, "and if I weren't here I'd
beon the street. I can't live there."
The Medinas are determined to keep the Tuolumne house running while
they regroup.
"We have always worked other jobsso we could cover expenses at the
houses," Beki says, "but it's cost us everything."
They lost their own home to foreclosure last year. Bobby, a transit
driver for many years, had to take a job transfer out of the area.
Beki lost her job at a title company and is halfway through a graduate
internship program in social work. And they're now raising three of
Bobby's granddaughters, all in grade school.
Beki hopes things will improve whenshe gets her degree, and that
they'll be able to re-establish more homes. But for now, the
grandchildren are a top priority. They have little contact with their
mother, Bobby's daughter.
"She's still on a different path," Beki says. "She told Bobby she
might have turned out differently ifhe had been around more. He tells
her 'I can't change the past but youcan change your future.' He's
changed a lot of futures."
Medina with residents of the Tuolumne home: Steve McFarlan (left),
Steve Tippett, Geraldo Ochoa, Randy Burdan and, seated, Jeff Mercer
Bobby is open about his own past, but he would rather talk about the
residents at We Care. He has a strong connection to these men – and
they trust him when they won'teven speak to anyone else.
He tells the stories of men like "Railroad Bob," an older, homeless
alcoholic who had been in and out of We Care homes over the years.
Bobby came across him one day sitting on the pavement outside a local
grocery store. Bobby said a quick hello, then saw him still there
several hours later.
"He told me he couldn't walk," Bobby recalls. "So I picked him up and
took him to the house we had in Soulsbyville. He said he knew he was
dying, but he sure would ratherbe with people he knew."
He did pass away a couple of months later, from complications of so
many years of heavy drinking,but he's remembered by the other We Care
residents.
"He had nowhere else," Beki says. "We get a lot of guys like that."
"We won't turn them away," Bobby adds. "We might kick them out for a
few days when they break the rules, but we always give them another
chance."
We Care gives some support and guidance to help residents who want to
move forward with their lives. They have success stories – residents
who were able to stay sober, get jobs or businesses back, repay child
support, reconnect with children or other family.
The Medinas get letters and calls from people Bobby helped in the
past. That's what they hope for – but for most residents, it's a
painful process.
"Success," Beki says, "is when they can come out of their room fora
little bit, share a meal, talk to people."
"They come in addicts," Bobby says. "And this isn't the Betty
FordClinic – like they say in *Delancey Street, Harvard takes the top
10 percent, and we take the bottom 10 percent."
* original Grant "Friends outside" 1980
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is intended only for the individual or entity recipient, you are hereby,
notified that any disclosure, copying, distribution, or reliance upon the
contents of this E-mail is strictly prohibited. If you have received this
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can be made for proper delivery. Title 42
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